Eaton Satsang
Nasrudin
Sufi understanding is sometimes communicated through teaching stories, the best known of these feature the character Nasrudin, a "spiritual fool" whose tales, in addition to their entertainment value, are designed to point out our human foibles. Some are original sufi tales, others borrowed for their insights into the human character
Idries Shaw wrote that, "It is believed that the mystical effect of seven Nasrudin tales, studied in succession, is enough to prepare an individual for enlightenment."
Stories
Nasrudin walked into a shop one day. The owner came forward to serve him. "First things first," said Nasrudin; "did you see me walk into your shop?" "Of course." "Have you ever seen me before?" "Never in my life." "Then how do you know it is me?"
Mullah Nasrudin, standing on the bank of a river, watched as a dog came to drink. The dog saw itself in the water and immediately began to bark. It barked and barked all morning and into the afternoon, until it was foaming at the mouth. Finally, dying of thirst, the dog fell into the river--whereupon it quenched its thirst, climbed out, and happily walked away. Nasrudin said, "Thus I realized all my life I had been barking at my own reflection."
"How old are you Mullah?" "Forty." "But you said the same last time I asked you two years ago." "Yes, I always stand by what I have said.""
Nasrudin applied for a job. The manager did not feel he was qualified, so he asked, "Can you read and write?" Nasrudin replied, "I cannot read, but I can write." The manager was surprised. "Then write!" he said, and offered him some paper. Nasrudin immediately started writing on it. He went fast -- one page, two pages, three pages. The manager said, "Now you stop! Please read what you have written, because I cannot read." Nasruddin said, "I have told you - I can only write! I can't read."
Nasrudin had been calling on his girlfriend for over a year. One evening the girl's father stopped him as he was leaving and asked, "Look here young man, you have been seeing my daughter for a year now, and I would like to know whether your intentions are honourable or dishonourable?" Nasrudin's face lit up. "Do you mean to say, Sir," he said, "That I have a choice?"
One day Nasrudin began telling everyone he was God, and because of this he was brought before the Caliph, who said to him, "Last year someone claimed to be a prophet and he was put to death!" Nasrudin replied, "It was well that you did so, for I did not send him."
Nasrudin entered a formal reception area and seated himself at the foremost elegant chair. The Chief of the Guard approached and said: "Sir, those places are reserved for guests of honor." "Oh, I am more than a mere guest," replied Nasrudin confidently. "Oh, so are you a diplomat?" "Far more than that!" "Really? So you are a minister, perhaps?" "No, bigger than that too." "Oho! So you must be the King himself, sir," said the Chief sarcastically. "Higher than that!" "What?! Are you higher than the King?! Nobody is higher than the King in this village!" "Now you have it. I am nobody!" said Nasrudin.
A judge in a village court had gone on vacation. Nasrudin was asked to be temporary judge for a day. Nasrudin sat on the Judge's chair with a serious face, gazing around the public and ordered the first case be brought-up for hearing. "You are right," said Nasrudin after hearing one side. "You are right," he said after hearing the other side. "But both cannot be right," said a member of the public sitting in the audience. "You are right, too" said Nasrudin.
Nasrudin was riding along one day when his donkey took fright at something in its path and started to bolt. As he sped past them at an unaccustomed pace some countrymen called out: 'Where are you going, Nasrudin, so fast?' Mullah shouted, "don't ask me, ask my donkey!"
One hot day, Nasruddin was taking it easy in the shade of a walnut tree. After a time, he started eying speculatively, the huge pumpkins growing on vines and the small walnuts growing on a majestic tree.
Sometimes I just can't understand the ways of God! he mused. Just fancy letting tinny walnuts grow on so majestic a tree and huge pumpkins on the delicate vines!
Just then a walnut snapped off and fell smack on Mullah Nasruddin's bald head. He got up at once and lifting up his hands and face to heavens in supplication, said:
"Oh, my God! Forgive my questioning your ways! You are all-wise. Where would I have been now, if pumpkins grew on trees!"
Nasrudin was out riding when he saw a group of horsemen. Thinking this might be a band of robbers, Nasrudin galloped off hastily. The other men, who were actually friends of his, said, "I wonder where Nasrudin is going in such a hurry?" and trailed after him to find out. Nasrudin, feeling himself pursued, raced to a graveyard, leapt over the fence, and hid behind a tombstone. His friends arrived and, sitting on their horses, leaned over the wall to ask, "Why are you hiding behind that tombstone, Nasrudin?" "It's more complicated than you realize," replied Nasrudin, discerning what had happened. "I'm here because of you, and you're here because of me.
Nasrudin, "If I survive this life without dying I'll be surprised."
"This afternoon we are going to try what are called projection techniques," announced the psychiatrist. "I want to try to get some insights into how you perceive the world around you!" He rapidly drew a circle on his pad and thrust it across the desk. "Now -- what does that remind you of?" Mulla Nasrudin regarded the circle lugubriously. "A naked woman," he replied. The psychiatrist drew a triangle. "And this?." "A naked woman sitting down!" The psychiatrist drew a square. "And this?" "A naked woman doing something very nasty!" "Well, well, well.... you are certainly preoccupied with sex, aren't you?" "COME OFF IT, DOCTOR," protested Nasrudin. "IT'S YOU THAT'S DRAWING THE RUDE PICTURES.
Mulla Nasrudin and his wife went to Israel for their holidays, and visited a night club in Tel Aviv. A comedian was on the bill who did his whole act in Hebrew. Nasrudin's wife sat through the comic's act in silence, but Nasrudin roared with laughter at the end of each joke. "I didn't know you understood Hebrew," she said to the Mulla when the comedian had concluded his act. "I don't" replied Nasrudin. "Well, how come you laughed so much at his jokes?" "AH, said Nasrudin. "I TRUSTED HIM."
It was a gay party -- wine, whisky and wit flowed freely. An obsequious waiter offered a tray with drinks to a solemn, stern-looking man, obviously a clergy man, The Father looked sternly at him and said, "No, thanks. I do not drink." The waiter left but soon enough another appeared on the scene with a second tray. The God's good man gave him a withering glare: "Don't you know I do not drink at all?" And he added as an after thought, "I would rather commit adultery than imbibe alcohol." Mulla Nasrudin, his neighbour, leisurely sipping his scotch, got up with alacrity, put down the glass and exclaimed: "GOOD HEAVENS, I HAD NO IDEA THERE WAS A CHOICE!"
Mulla Nasrudin: "Well, Sir, the upshot of it was that it took me ten years to discover that I had absolutely no talent for writing literature." Friend: "You gave up?" Nasrudin: "OH, NO. BY THAT TIME I WAS TOO FAMOUS.
Two children found a bag containing twelve marbles. They argued over how to divide the toys and finally went to see the Mulla Nasrudin. When asked to settle their disagreement, the Mulla asked whether the children wanted him to divide the marbles as a human would or as Allah would. The children replied, "We want it to be fair. Divide the marbles as Allah would." So, the Mulla counted out the marbles and gave three to one child and nine to the other.
The king's three scholars had accused Nazrudin of heresy, and so he was brought into the king's court for trial. In his defense, Nazrudin asked the scholars, 'Oh wise men, what is bread?' The first scholar said, 'Bread is sustenance; a food.' The second scholar said, 'Bread is a combination of flour and water exposed to the heat of a fire.' The third scholar said, 'Bread is a gift from God.' Nazrudin spoke to the king, 'Your Majesty, how can you trust these men? Is it not strange they cannot agree on the nature of something they eat every day, yet are unanimous that I am a heretic?'
One day, people saw Mullah Nasruddin out in the street searching frantically for something. 'What are you searching for, Mullah? They enquired. "I've lost my key" replied Mullah. So everyone joined him, trying to help him After some time someone had the urge to ask the place where the key was lost so that more concentrated search could be made. So, the enquiry was made to Nasruddin. "I lost the key in the house," replied Mulla matter-o-factly. "Then why are you searching for it in the street?" was the obvious question asked to him. "Because the light is better here." Replied the Mulla.
The Mullah was enamored of Indian classical music. He eagerly sought out a teacher to take private lessons. "How much will it cost?" asked the Mullah. "Three pieces of silver the first month and one piece of silver from the second month onward," replied the teacher. "Excellent!" replied the Mullah. "Sign me up from the second month!"
The Mulla, in deep exasperation, sought a cure from a healer because every night for the past month he had dreamt about having wrestling matches with donkeys. The healer thoughtfully prepared a special herbal mixture for him and said, “Eat this, and your dreams will go away.” “Thank you so much, but can I start tomorrow?” the Mulla asked. “Why not tonight?” the healer inquired. Said the Mulla, “Because tonight I am scheduled to wrestle in the finals of the championship match!”
Once, when Mullah Nasruddin was visiting a Western town, he was invited to attend a fashion show. He went, and afterwards he was asked how he liked it. "It's a complete swindle!" he exclaimed indignantly. "Whatever do you mean?" he was asked. "They show you the women - and then try to sell you the clothes!"
A certain man asked Mullah Nasruddin; What is the meaning of fate, Mullah Nasruddin ?
Assumptions, Mullah Nasruddin replied.
In what way? the man asked again.
Mullah Nasruddin looked at him and said; You assume things are going to go well, and they don't - that you call bad luck.
You assume things are going to go badly and they don't - that you call good luck.
You assume that certain things are going to happen or not happen - and you so lack intuition that you don't know what is going to happen.
You assume that the future is unknown. When you are caught out - you call that Fate.
There was a great Sufi, Mulla Nasrudin. He was very afraid of death, as everyone is.
One day, he heard that someone had died. He came home trembling. He asked his wife, "Can you tell me how I will know when I am dead? What are the symptoms? How will I be able to know that death has come?" His wife said, "You are foolish. You will know. You will become cold"
One day soon after, Mulla was working on his farm. The day was very cold and his hands became cold. He thought to himself, "It looks like I'm dying." He began to think about what he should do. "I must behave like a dead man now. The body is the body. My symptoms tell me that I am dead. What do dead men do? - I must think about it." Dead men lie down, so he lay down and closed his eyes. Someone passed by. They thought that Mulla must be dead. He wanted to say, "I am not dead," but dead men don't speak.
He thought: "Dead men never speak, I have never heard about a dead man speaking. It will be absolutely unnatural for me to speak." They decided to carry Mulla to the cemetery. But because they were unfamiliar with that part of the country - they were foreigners, passing by on the road - when they came to the crossroad they didn't know in which direction the cemetery was, they didn't know were to go. Of course, Mulla knew where the cemetery was. He wondered if it would be all right to tell them the way so get there, but then he decided that it was impossible. And besides, someone would turn up and then they could ask.
No one turned up. Evening was descending and soon it would be night. The men began to be worried. Mulla thought, "They are so worried. I must help them" - but of course dead men cannot help. Finally night had come, it was dark. They thought: "What to do? We cannot leave the dead body here. We don't know where to go: where his house is or where the cemetery is. What are we to do now?" Mulla said, "If you don't mind - it's not natural of course: I am a dead man, I should not speak; the rules don't permit it but if you allow me, I can show you the way. And then, I will stop talking."
(Osho comments: If you are not, then you cannot even say that you are not. It's not possible. So the last assertion that the technique of surrender will lead to is "I am not." That is the last assertion. Then only the divine is. And when you are not how can there be any difference between you and the divine? When you are not, you are divine.)
