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Control

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Are you aware of the many ways that you try to control your life? Beginning when you awaken, and running throughout the day, you might notice a series of behaviors as you attempt to control yourself and your environment. These are habitual patterns you’ve adopted in order to avoid stress, pain and suffering; to control emotions; to protect beliefs, relationships and preferences. We fear the loss of control inherent in being fully vulnerable. We fear feeling unprotected, naked, defenseless, and the fear of death, including death of the ego, can be terrifying. In our innocence we’re being controlled by multiple unconscious beliefs, fears, mistrust and defenses. But, in doing so we’ve limited ourselves to new experiences, knowledge and freshness of life.

 

We also try to control our seeking, looking only for specific types of experience that we’ve previously determined will mark progress on the path to enlightenment - as though we really know what that means! Rather than trust in the intelligence of universe, and the natural unfolding of life, we believe we have the autonomous capacity to control our destiny, overcome feelings of emptiness, and find the answers we’re seeking. Before undertaking new or renewed practices of control it might be best to recognize and become witness to those behaviors, beliefs and attitudes that are presently constricting the natural unfolding of True Nature.

 

Quotes

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The Master sees things as they are,

without trying to control them.

She lets them go their own way,

and resides at the center of the circle.

~ Lao Tzu

 

When you say or do anything to please, get, keep, influence, or control anyone or anything, fear is the cause and pain is the result. Manipulation is separation, and separation is painful.

~ Byron Katie

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You believe in free will.

You believe you make yourself sick.

You believe you choose your own parents.

You believe you can control your dreams.

You believe you can take charge of your life.

You believe there is a child within that you can heal.

You believe you have the power of prayer.

You believe that you can make a difference.

You believe your pain is your fault.

You believe you can do better.

You believe you are responsible.

You believe all sorts of shit.

Ram Tzu knows this...

When God wants you to do something

You believe it's your own idea.

~ Ram Tzu

 

Society has put before you the ideal of a 'perfect man'. No matter in which culture you were born, you have scriptural doctrines and traditions handed down to you to tell you how to behave. You are told that through due practice you can even eventually come into the state attained by the sages, saints and saviors of mankind. And so you try to control your behavior, to control your thoughts, to be something unnatural.” 

~ U.G. Krishnamurti

 

Nothing to hold on to, is the root of happiness.

There's a sense of freedom when we realize

we are not in control.

~ Pema Chödrön

 

Spiritual people can be some of the most violent people you will ever meet. Mostly, they are violent to themselves. They violently try to control their minds, their emotions, and their bodies. They become upset with themselves and beat themselves up for not rising up to the conditioned mind's idea of what it believes enlightenment to be. No one ever became free through such violence. Why is it that so few people are truly free? Because they try to conform to ideas, concepts, and beliefs in their heads. They try to concentrate their way to heaven. But freedom is about the natural state, the spontaneous and un-self-conscious expression of beingness. If you want to find it, see that the very idea of "a someone who is in control" is a concept created by the mind. Take one step backward into the unknown.

~ Adyashanti

 

The two great delusions are that life is controllable and

that there is an entity, me, who can exercise said control.

But if we cannot even control the thoughts that appear to us,

how can we possibly believe we can control what occurs to us?

~ Wu Hsin

 

Your ego has about as much control over what goes on as a child sitting next to his father in a car with a plastic steering wheel.

~ Alan Watts

 

How do you feel when you intend to do something good for yourself, like exercise or diet, and then you don't?

Do you feel disappointed with yourself? Do you feel as if you have screwed up? Let yourself down? Even if you can point to events outside your control that interrupted your plans, isn't there a lingering sense that you should have accounted for the possibility of an interruption and planned differently? Is there not at some level a feeling that you should have tried harder?

Can you remember how good you felt the last time you decided to do something good for yourself and then you did it? Remember how "in control" you felt?

In this way the False Sense of Authorship creates a potent, subliminal connection between being in control and being comfortable. Unfortunately, as you well know, such comfort is fleeting.

Lasting comfort is to be found in the recognition that all that you do is the product of vast Universal forces and that nothing you do is the product of your own authoring.

May It find you now.

~ Wayne Liquorman

 

Everything is determined…by forces over which we have no control.

It is determined for the insect as well as for the star.

Human beings, vegetables, or cosmic dust—

we all dance to a mysterious tune,

intoned in the distance by an invisible piper.

~ Albert Einstein

 

All effort at controlling thoughts, appetites and desires cannot but strengthen them along with the ego.

Whatever has to go must fall off by itself.

All that you are concerned with, all that you are, is the impersonal functioning of understanding. So let that understanding work through witnessing without judgement, knowing that there is nothing else that you can do.

~ Ramesh Balsekar

 

From the perspective of the infinite it is obvious that the individual self absolutely does not exist. The idea that we have a self that controls. arbitrates, or is the doer behind our actions, is absurd. The individual self is nothing but an idea of who we are. Ideas are ideas - and nothing more.

~ Suzanne Segal

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We are never really in control. We just think we are when things happen to be going our way.

~ Byron Katie

 

If you believe you can change any of it, that is a thought. Only ego cares about your intentions and attention. Celebrate that you cannot control anything. If you deeply understand this, you will not continue to impose limitations on yourself and then make a vain struggle to transcend them. Ignore the ego and you are free: nothing else is needed. Stop reasoning. Do not engage in identification and the rest is effortless. There is nothing new to be gained and nothing remains to be accomplished. 

~ Jac O'Keeffe

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If you really step out of the way and stop assuming you can control it all, 

you will see what this life energy does on its own.

Risk living in wonder and surprise.

~ Unmani

 

The reality is that we don't have any control; 

the ego has no control over how reality unfolds and reveals itself. 

How is it the case that the ego doesn't have control? 

Simply because ego is merely a thought in your mind. It's an image. 

It's a way your mind references itself, thinks about itself, and 

creates a sense of self in the first place. 

If your whole egoic self is merely a product of imagination, 

a mechanical result of thoughts linking themselves together, 

then it's obvious that a thought doesn't have any control. 

A thought is just something that occurs. 

It happens and then passes away.

~ Adyashanti

 

So when we are established in the understanding and the certainty that we are not in control of our process, that Being or true nature is actually in charge, then our unfoldment becomes a runaway unfoldment, which means that everything happens on its own. When we recognize that everything happens on its own, reality begins to unfold consciously on its own, 

~ A. H. Almaas

 

Go into the silence whenever you can. 

Become silent at every opportunity. 

Again how do you resolve the problems of your life? 

By becoming still! 

Not by looking for answers. 

Why? 

Because all of the answers come from the same source, the ego. 

It is the ego that prods you onward, and you're allowing it to happen. 

The choice is always yours. 

This is the freedom that you've got. 

To follow your ego or surrender your ego. 

That's the truth you've got. 

And life presents to you all kinds of situations. 

So you can make a choice. 

The choice you make determines what happens to you.

~ Robert Adams

 

My answer is very simple: at any time, in any circumstance or situation, do whatever you think you should do ⎯ knowing the results are never, ever in your control.

~ Ramesh Balsekar

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Control

(part 2)

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Are you aware of the many ways in which you try to exert control over your life? From the moment you wake up until the end of the day, you may notice a series of behaviors aimed at controlling yourself and your environment. These behaviors have become habitual patterns that you've adopted to avoid stress, pain, and suffering. They serve to control your emotions and protect your beliefs, relationships, and preferences. The ego-self is afraid of losing control and being fully vulnerable. It fears feeling unprotected, defenseless, and the fear of death, including the death of the ego, can be terrifying. Unconsciously, we allow multiple beliefs, fears, mistrust, and defenses to control us. However, in doing so, we limit ourselves from new experiences, knowledge, and the freshness of life.

Furthermore, we also try to control our search for meaning, only seeking specific types of experiences that we believe will lead to awakening or indicate progress on our spiritual path. However, we mistakenly assume that we already know what awakening means and therefore prefer to rely on our ability to control our destiny,  Instead of trusting the intelligence of the universe and the natural unfolding of life. We fall into the trap of control. Therefore, before embarking on new or renewed practices of control, it would be beneficial to recognize and become witnesses to the behaviors, beliefs, and attitudes that currently limit the natural unfolding of our True Nature.

To support this recognition, I have occasionally offered workshops to introduce the Enneagram of Personality as a tool for understanding the various ways in which our ordinary ego-selves seek to control our daily behavior. By becoming understanding witnesses to our primary personality tendencies, we can identify how they divert us from the practice of simple presence. If you're interested, an internet search will provide you with a wealth of teachings to introduce you to the Enneagram.

 

Quotes

 

The Master sees things as they are,

without trying to control them.

She lets them go their own way,

and resides at the center of the circle.

~ Lao Tzu

 

When you say or do anything to please, get, keep, influence, or control anyone or anything, fear is the cause and pain is the result. Manipulation is separation, and separation is painful.

~ Byron Katie

 

You believe in free will.

You believe you make yourself sick.

You believe you choose your own parents.

You believe you can control your dreams.

You believe you can take charge of your life.

You believe there is a child within that you can heal.

You believe you have the power of prayer.

You believe that you can make a difference.

You believe your pain is your fault.

You believe you can do better.

You believe you are responsible.

You believe all sorts of shit.

Ram Tzu knows this...

When God wants you to do something

You believe it's your own idea.

~ Ram Tzu

 

Society has put before you the ideal of a 'perfect man'. No matter in which culture you were born, you have scriptural doctrines and traditions handed down to you to tell you how to behave. You are told that through due practice you can even eventually come into the state attained by the sages, saints and saviors of mankind. And so you try to control your behavior, to control your thoughts, to be something unnatural.” 

~ U.G. Krishnamurti

 

Nothing to hold on to, is the root of happiness.

There's a sense of freedom when we realize

we are not in control.

~ Pema Chödrön

 

Spiritual people can be some of the most violent people you will ever meet. Mostly, they are violent to themselves. They violently try to control their minds, their emotions, and their bodies. They become upset with themselves and beat themselves up for not rising up to the conditioned mind's idea of what it believes enlightenment to be. No one ever became free through such violence. Why is it that so few people are truly free? Because they try to conform to ideas, concepts, and beliefs in their heads. They try to concentrate their way to heaven. But freedom is about the natural state, the spontaneous and un-self-conscious expression of beingness. If you want to find it, see that the very idea of "a someone who is in control" is a concept created by the mind. Take one step backward into the unknown.

~ Adyashanti

 

The two great delusions are that life is controllable and

that there is an entity, me, who can exercise said control.

But if we cannot even control the thoughts that appear to us,

how can we possibly believe we can control what occurs to us?

~ Wu Hsin

 

Your ego has about as much control over what goes on as a child sitting next to his father in a car with a plastic steering wheel.

~ Alan Watts

 

How do you feel when you intend to do something good for yourself, like exercise or diet, and then you don't?

Do you feel disappointed with yourself? Do you feel as if you have screwed up? Let yourself down? Even if you can point to events outside your control that interrupted your plans, isn't there a lingering sense that you should have accounted for the possibility of an interruption and planned differently? Is there not at some level a feeling that you should have tried harder?

Can you remember how good you felt the last time you decided to do something good for yourself and then you did it? Remember how "in control" you felt?

In this way the False Sense of Authorship creates a potent, subliminal connection between being in control and being comfortable. Unfortunately, as you well know, such comfort is fleeting.

Lasting comfort is to be found in the recognition that all that you do is the product of vast Universal forces and that nothing you do is the product of your own authoring.

May It find you now.

~ Wayne Liquorman

 

Everything is determined…by forces over which we have no control.

It is determined for the insect as well as for the star.

Human beings, vegetables, or cosmic dust—

we all dance to a mysterious tune,

intoned in the distance by an invisible piper.

~ Albert Einstein

 

All effort at controlling thoughts, appetites and desires cannot but strengthen them along with the ego.

Whatever has to go must fall off by itself.

All that you are concerned with, all that you are, is the impersonal functioning of understanding. So let that understanding work through witnessing without judgement, knowing that there is nothing else that you can do.

~ Ramesh Balsekar

 

From the perspective of the infinite it is obvious that the individual self absolutely does not exist. The idea that we have a self that controls. arbitrates, or is the doer behind our actions, is absurd. The individual self is nothing but an idea of who we are. Ideas are ideas - and nothing more.

~ Suzanne Segal

 

We are never really in control. We just think we are when things happen to be going our way.

~ Byron Katie

 

If you believe you can change any of it, that is a thought. Only ego cares about your intentions and attention. Celebrate that you cannot control anything. If you deeply understand this, you will not continue to impose limitations on yourself and then make a vain struggle to transcend them. Ignore the ego and you are free: nothing else is needed. Stop reasoning. Do not engage in identification and the rest is effortless. There is nothing new to be gained and nothing remains to be accomplished. 

~ Jac O'Keeffe

 

If you really step out of the way and stop assuming you can control it all, 

you will see what this life energy does on its own.

Risk living in wonder and surprise.

~ Unmani

 

The reality is that we don't have any control; 

the ego has no control over how reality unfolds and reveals itself. 

How is it the case that the ego doesn't have control? 

Simply because ego is merely a thought in your mind. It's an image. 

It's a way your mind references itself, thinks about itself, and 

creates a sense of self in the first place. 

If your whole egoic self is merely a product of imagination, 

a mechanical result of thoughts linking themselves together, 

then it's obvious that a thought doesn't have any control. 

A thought is just something that occurs. 

It happens and then passes away.

~ Adyashanti

 

So when we are established in the understanding and the certainty that we are not in control of our process, that Being or true nature is actually in charge, then our unfoldment becomes a runaway unfoldment, which means that everything happens on its own. When we recognize that everything happens on its own, reality begins to unfold consciously on its own, 

~ A. H. Almaas

 

Go into the silence whenever you can. 

Become silent at every opportunity. 

Again how do you resolve the problems of your life? 

By becoming still! 

Not by looking for answers. 

Why? 

Because all of the answers come from the same source, the ego. 

It is the ego that prods you onward, and you're allowing it to happen. 

The choice is always yours. 

This is the freedom that you've got. 

To follow your ego or surrender your ego. 

That's the truth you've got. 

And life presents to you all kinds of situations. 

So you can make a choice. 

The choice you make determines what happens to you.

~ Robert Adams

 

My answer is very simple: at any time, in any circumstance or situation, do whatever you think you should do ⎯ knowing the results are never, ever in your control.

~ Ramesh Balsekar

 

When you believe yourself to be your personality, and you know better than that, you compromise yourself. 

When you inquire within and get honest with yourself, you probably find that you are like most people: frequently defending the person you think you are, concerned about how others perceive you, and micromanaging your own behaviors in order to control your image. 

By doing these things, you’ve allowed yourself to be controlled by the relatively shallow forces of your social milieu and have opted out of standing uncompromisingly in your own power.

~ Jac O’Keeffe

 

We think that if we just meditated enough or jogged enough or ate perfect food, everything would be perfect. But from the point of view of someone who is awake, that’s death. Seeking security or perfection, rejoicing in feeling confirmed and whole, self-contained and comfortable, is some kind of death. It doesn’t have any fresh air. There’s no room for something to come in and interrupt all that. We are killing the moment by controlling our experience. Doing this is setting ourselves up for failure, because sooner or later, we’re going to have an experience we can’t control: our house is going to burn down, someone we love is going to die, we’re going to find out we have cancer, a brick is going to fall out of the sky and hit us on the head, somebody’s going to spill tomato juice all over our white suit, or we’re going to arrive at our favorite restaurant and discover that no one ordered produce and seven hundred people are coming for lunch.

~ Pema Chodron

 

By pitting yourself against what is, you are acting according to the delusion that you have a separate will and that you can have your own way, different from what is happening. This is one of the principles of ego: that you have a separate will and that you have choice. Even when you believe that you are helpless and can’t do things, there is the implicit belief that if it weren’t for your helplessness, you could have your own way. From this egoic perspective, it seems obvious that you need to tinker with things, both inwardly and outwardly. This manifests externally as manipulating other people to make them conform to how you think they need to be for you, and internally as constantly evaluating your experience to see whether it is “right” or not, and trying to change it if it doesn’t match your ideas of how you think it should be.

~ A.H. Almaas

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